I want companionship. I want someone to talk with who I can love and lust over. I want someone who engages me, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I want to fall over and over in love with this person and have God bless us because we put Him first.
I want to get married. I want a wife who I can pray with about our days, about our fears, our kids, the direction we have chosen for ourselves under God. I want to have kids of my own and settle down. I want kids named Micah and Naomi and Stephen (and whatever names my wife comes up with). I want to watch them get born and hold them in my arms for the first time as I watch them sleep. I want to see them take their first steps as I hold out my open arms to them. I want to hear their first words, and cry the first time they say "Dad". I want to comfort them and teach them and guide them, and worry about their every move.
I want to watch them grow up and move out and find companions of their own. I want to grow old with my wife, and somewhere down the line re-propose and renew our vows.
I want so much for my life. I want so many things I don't know if I'll ever get.
But God... what do You want?
That was beautiful bro. Left me spechless. If I didnt have so many walls around my heart I probably would have cried.
Those words you wrote are pure heart. And I think that makes Jesus happy. The Bible says that God will give us the delights of our heart when our heart is aligned with Him.
Those words you wrote seem to be inlign with God. But I also know the reality that we are on a difficult road. And that life you so desire is not promised (and in my humble opinion, not likely). Maybe thats what makes me so sad.
For you, I hope that God wants the same thing...
Pomoprophet
5:26 AMWow. Just Wow.
Unknown
10:54 PM[pomoprophet] I hope so too.
[journeyman] Thanx, man.
Ash
1:29 AMWow this really moved me. I know you posted this years ago but since I am new here I just found it. This is everything I want too, but said in a way much better than I ever could.
Its really hard realizing we may never have this. I sometimes get a twinge of sadness knowing I may never have this when I see a happy married couple madly in love at church.
I am going to have to just trust God that he has a plan for me and that my loneliness will be relieved in other ways. Maybe God is lonely sometimes too and uses our struggles and pain to draw us closer to him in a way we would never be able to if we were "normal"?
AJ
8:38 AMI can't say I agree with you on the "Maybe God is lonely sometimes" part. He is God, the Creator. He is the Alpha and Omega. He is love, and majesty and glory. He doesn't actually need us. But that's why it's so beautiful that He loves us anyway.
Does he "use our struggles and pain to draw us closer to Him in a way we would never be able to if we were "normal""? That, I definitely think so.
Ash
11:01 AM