Why did I have to be gay? I choose to be celibate. At least, I choose to try to be. But I've often felt that there has to be an easier way. A more fair way.
I don't advocate gay marriage or a homosexual lifestyle, because I do feel that homosexuality is a choice (which I mentioned a few posts ago) that goes against what God wants. So the alternative is celibacy.
I read a post by JJ, in which she talks about celibacy and the problem with it as a choice--
So, there you have it. My answer to the question that I’ve been asked more than a few times (and always, incidentally, by married people), “What’s wrong with the celibacy option?”
The answer? A lot. A hell of a lot. Beyond the obvious, being celibate, or even just single in this world (not just in the West, by the way, every where you go in the world, being in a couple is the norm for adults) puts you outside. Unless you are in a convent or a monastery (or some other variation of a celibate community), you’re going to feel it, feel your otherness, feel your outside status… maybe not every day, but you feel it a lot. And I know that the solution is apparently to rely on the ‘compassion’ of the church, those people who will take us single people in, but… well, how is someone’s pity supposed to help with making me feel more valued? Pity does not equal intimacy, it is not a replacement for the relationships that most people have at some point in their lives. And it is a lie to say that it is enough.I know the response to that, by the way. Christ is enough. I know that. I just don’t know that having merely ‘enough’ to get by is what my life is supposed to be. Other people get Christ and the joys (and responsibilities) that come with marriage. It doesn’t mean their faith or relationship with Him is any less significant.
I know that this is a juvenile thing to say, but it really just isn’t fair.
I understand the struggle of sometimes questioning whether God is fair or not. A friend pointed out to me that He is not fair, but He is just. The most unfair day we'll spend with God is the day He invites us into Heaven because Jesus paid the penalty on our behalf. One of the things that personally helps me when I struggle with the fairness issue, is to remember that He has a plan for each of us. And that while I may struggle with desires for something He hasn't provided, I do have more than so many others. Like, remembering that I have my eyesight, ability to hear and walk. I know, we often take these things for granted, but it's possible that someone who doesn't have these things might deeply desire these as well. I don't mean to belittle your struggles and pain in any way, I just wanted to tell you that my faith in Jesus means everything to me and some days, I really struggle too. I think God just appreciates that we seek Him and cry to Him about our difficulties.
A Life Inspired
5:02 AMThank you for your words.
Ash
3:08 AMAsh,
Wow! That is seriously profound. You have given words to something I have thought about at length lately. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, by way of JJ, because they have struck something in me that I found hard to put words to myself.
Unknown
5:35 AM